Men, Michael and Grandpa… don’t worry I am not sharing any gory details… hang with me if you want!
Ladies, what is about us… whenever you get a group of women together birth stories are going get tossed out as a topic of conversation. It is almost as predictable as getting war veterans together and battle stories coming out. I will admit I think it is hilarious. I laugh at all the faces that are made as if everyone is back in the labor and delivery room together, which would not be far fetched since potty breaks are still a group effort. Ladies are just a different breed… speaking as a lady!
Honestly, though, when the topic of birth stories come out I keep my mouth shut. My best friend from elementary school is pregnant with her first and I have thought that I could “coach” her along the steps of pregnancy and birthing, but really I think I might just keep my mouth shut! I am pretty sure I might offend or piss her off… like the ladies that I do share my story with after being implored to do so.
Getting pregnant was never a challenge for Michael and I, we jokingly say he better not look at me wrong or I might end up pregnant. So as far as that goes I do not have an understanding of what it is like to struggle with infertility, I know that it is one of the most painful experiences a woman can go through, and my heart aches for those woman.
As far as the pregnancy goes… well I have never made it to my due dates… the closest I ever got was two weeks away. For those woman that are pregnant for 40 plus weeks…I hear it is miserable.
Although, pregnancy weight gain, I can chum it up with all the ladies… with my first I gained 83 pounds. Yep, you read that correctly. I weighed over 200 pounds on my delivery day. My loving dad jokingly said two days before I delivered… “you know once you hit 200 you never go back!” Thanks for those words of encouragement, dad! Just for the record, he was wrong! Also to be noted for the record, I did not eat bon bons and ho hos my entire pregnancy. With my first pregnancy all I wanted was fruit and salads, where did all that weight come from? Your guess is as good as mine. I do know that 23 pounds of it was water weight since that was gained the day before he was born… again, no need to adjust your readers, you read that one right too!
As far as laboring, well the longest I ever was in labor was six hours. To my sister in law that labored for a few days… oh sakes, I am sorry. As far as pushing… well the most pushes I ever had was six, lasting about fifteen minutes. That last part might be due to the fact that none of my babies were very big… first was 7.2, second was 8.2 and third was 5. I guess my body is just made for labor and delivering… if only it was made for the whole nine months thing!
So to Sarah, sorry but I think to keep our friendship, I will keep my mouth shut!
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