I have read a statement that has been coming up a lot lately in my mind’s battle… “The more you love a decision the less you will look to others to accept that decision.” I struggle in wanting to run to those around me and find the quick answer rather than sitting and prayerfully considering. I never felt like I sought out the approval of those around me until I became a mother, a world all of it’s own. I often find myself questioning the choices that I made, am making and planning to make. I am confident that everyone has their own trail to walk and that sometimes people are put along that path to help, and encourage but not to be used as a crutch where the Word of God belongs. I know that God created woman to be relational beings, to communicate with each other, but in my own struggles I find that I forget to go to God first instead I find myself running to people for their approval.
A few weeks ago I broke down and I realized that my sense of “perfect” is blocking me from really embracing my life. I compare myself to those “perfect wives, moms, friends” and I am woefully failing. My mind is always occupied with how it is that “they” pull it off so well and forget that I am not “them”. My own perception of “perfect” has been paralyzing me from being “just me”. I have been robbing myself of God’s riches due to the fact that I am feeling insignificant and unworthy. Shame on me!
A friend made a statement in a text message to me this weekend that hit me… “God doesn’t always call the equipped but He will equip the called.” What does that say about me? I don’t know about being the best wife, mom, homemaker, friend… but God called me to those and He will most certainly give me the tools that I need to be the best that He wants me to be. The key being HIM! I can’t do it all, I can’t be the perfect wife, mom or friend but through Him all things are possible!
When I take the time to remove my perceptions of what perfect is and look at all that God has done for me I can’t help but be humbled. My conviction of perfection has been running through my mind for a while. I have always struggled with the thought that if I can’t do it perfect than I just am not going to even try. Well as a wife and a mom I will not be perfect but not engaging is really only hurting myself, blinding me from the blessings that are ever present daily. So now I am outwardly proclaiming what everyone already knew, I am not perfect, and that is just fine. I am daily trying to embrace that truth, acknowledging a lifetime of lies that I have fed myself and looking forward to the growth and fulfillment that awaits me as I accept the messiness of life.
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